First Steps

Alright, so all of my introductions are pretty much finished now. Here in Arahata we have only two core members at the moment: Leighanne and Kim. That fact actually makes us a bit overstaffed, as we have 3 regular assistants: Brenda, Carly, and myself. Apparently, I'll be the only male in the house all year long.

Yesterday was busy. We ran over the how-tos for some basic duties like cleaning and cooking. There's alot of consciousness around cross-contamination. The core members are (much to my surprise) amazingly independent. Kim and Leighanne can both make breakfast and lunch for themselves and Leighanne even holds down a job at a local hair salon. There are some things they can't do well, however. Some of our core members (as can be expected) don't exactly clean up well when they use the toilet, and many need help in the shower and such, all of which can make germaphobes like me pretty nervous. Things could be much worse, however. Yesterday, at about 9 am, we received word that our newest core member at Te Waka house, had gone on a bit of a rampage and smashed a chair through a window. When we went for a visit, Michael was with him and they were quietly making scones. Peter, Tony's other core member housemate, had to be moved for the night to Rangimarie while other leaders dealt with the crisis. All in all, however, this is pretty much what I expected in terms of responsibility and consequences.

There was a bit of joy yesterday as well. Last night was pub night, so we all headed out to a local pub. Everyone was there and we all shared a good drink, despite the recent and unsettling outburst. No worries. Plus, the pub owner gave us all fries on the house! A good time for everyone. L'arche follows a model called the "Empowerment" model. Basically, it states that if you allow a person to do what they can for themselves, then you'll have less to worry about in terms of behavioral problems and they'll be happier and better people. This makes the pace of life here a LOT slower, but it also creates a very home-like environment. Additionally, the empowerment model takes alot of pressure off of me, since-like Michele said-I only have to work on being a friend and not a caregiver.

The only person I've really had trouble with is Carly. This is ironic, considering that she's my fellow assistant, not a core member. She's so insecure and annoying that every conversation with her feels like speaking to a 10-year-old. What's more, she babies all the core members as if they can't do anything. That can cause behavioral problems, especially for Kim, who hates to be ordered around. Core members I can deal with, at least they've got a routine that's easy enough to pick up on, but Carly might pose my largest problems. That bit is definitely something I didn't expect.

I continue to view this assistantship as "service," but it's really no more service work than having a family. You wouldn't consider your family a service project. And, yeah, the core members have intellectual disabilities which create a need for vigilance, but you'd do the same thing if you knew that your child or your roommate had, say, Epilepsy. My cynicism has ruined more relationships than I can count, but no one's calling me disabled. Perhaps, however, they ought to. Learning a person's weaknesses is simply a part of coming to know them better. My dad can be stern and stubborn and my mom is usually a push over, so I become conscious of these things in conversation and in life. The people I live with now, core members and otherwise, are really no different, if a bit more difficult to manage.

Now, I've got to get everyone up for "brekkie". A new day begins...